hmm

so it's that time of year again where i go all depressed and sad for ages. it's a month and a bit til my baby brothers birthday. he died, and would be 7 this year. his name was ben. and even though it's been seven whole years, it seems like it was only yesterday really. and it makes me want to cry in huge amounts, but i hate crying infront of my family, cause then they all get really upset and they cry too. and then everyone is sad, and theres no way of getting out of feeling shit. so i don't really have anyone to talk to about it or anything. and so blogging seems to be the only way really. i found this bag with loads of things in of ben's like, his baby handprints and footprints, and pictures of us holding him, and 'sympathy cards' which just make you cry 20 times more than you already are. X